The Burning of the Icha Icha
by WinterJade
Summary: After Sakura beats Genma and Kakashi over the head for reading porn, she is caught reading it by one very amused and possibly blackmailing perverted senbon jounin. This may end up KakaSaku or GenSaku. HIATUS No excuse for this one, just a busy life.


I just want all of you to know, I have no clue which muse possessed (sp?) me to write this. -thinks- ...yeah for once I can't come up with something interesting to tell you.

Disclaimers are issued all round, okay? I own nothing.

* * *

"Her?"

"No, not her. Too anorexically skinny."

"_She's_ hot."

"No she isn't. That other girl is, I guess.."

"Which one?"

"The one on page 52."

Flip, flip. Flip.

"No, you went too far." Flip flip flip.

"Oh, yeah. She's hot but she reminds me too much of Tsunade."

Chuckle. "Ah."

"Don't 'ah' me, you copy cat. That woman is the reason my jaw hurts so much."

"How can Tsunade be the problem if Sakura is the one who hit you?"

"Who taught her to hit so hard with chakra, hmm?"

There is another distinct chuckle below, and the thick branch the woman is using to eavesdrop begins to crack. The kunoichi doesn't notice that her hand on the piece of tree is the cause of the splintering, nor does she acknowledge that anything is wrong with it.

"You deserved it for looking down her blouse as she was reviving you." Cha! Inner Sakura shouted triumphantly as Sakura's old sensei defended her, making her momentarily forget her anger towards the two jounin.

As Genma paused to pout, Sakura's cracking branch decided to break, dumping her in a heap. Genma immediately slid back, a kunai in his hand, as Kakashi calmly walked over to the shinobi with her face in the dirt.

"How lovely to have you drop in, Sakura-chan." The ruffled woman sat up huffily, ignoring the outstretched hand and looking ruefully up at the tree until Genma took a step back, terrified. The small sound caused Sakura to turn her head towards him with Yamato's signature scary face. Apparently, the wood-creating ANBU had taught Sakura his most effective intimidation tool. Genma gulped. Kakashi also took a step back, only to find his legs had been bound with special chakra cable and fall on his butt.

Both of them exchanged wide-eyed looks.

"Sakura-chan, please...!"

* * *

After many broken bones and more than a few lectures, Sakura had beat the older jounin around the head and body and managed to tie them to a tree, both missing all the weapons they had and their chakra blocked.

"But Sakura, just because we're perverts doesn't mean that you have to take our Icha Icha books away! This punishment is pure torture." Kakashi snorted, knowing it was an understatement. Genma was putting up a good argument, but Kakashi wasn't in the mood. He knew that he wasn't going to get out of trouble, but he didn't know that the medic nin was this brutal with punishments.

"Look, I love you both to death but you know the rules." Sakura sent a scary face Genma's way, obviously anticipating the smirk that graced his features. "As punishment for various acts against my orders to stay in bed like good patients, you cannot have Icha Icha for a day per offense. Clearly this is not going to work, so I've come to you with another solution." Both of them visibly sagged and then brightened a little at the thought that the new punishment meant they could resume reading Icha Icha without fearing for thier lives. Sakura only laughed at their reactions and released them.

"I want you both back here in five minutes with all of your Icha Icha books. If they aren't your real books, I'll know. If you haven't brought them all, I'll know. If you don't come back in five minutes, I'm coming to look for you. And we don't want that, **do we**?" Sakura shot them another scary face, making them both sweatdrop and nod. _Damn_, Kakashi thought as he poofed back to her house. _That face is scaring even me. I gotta get Yamato to teach me that._

* * *

One hour later, Sakura had Kakashi and Genma tied standing up, to trees on opposites sides of a decent-sized round clearing in the woods on training ground three. She also had all of the confirmed real Icha Icha books in a pile in the middle of the clearing. Sakura herself was standing on top of the pile, looking from left to right, nodding smugly to herself and nodding. Kakashi sent Genma a worried look. Sakura had been like this for over fifteen minutes. One the other hand, Genma didn't notice the look, as he was watching the devious kunoichi warily. As punishment for bringing a few henged tree branches as his two favorites, Sakura had beat him up a bit more than she had her former sensei. It was completely unfair considering she had chakra and theirs was still being blocked, but the evil-minded girl clearly didn't care.

She had a way to make them very sorry. After this, she doubted that they would ever disobey her again. Besides, the evil Inner Sakura reminded her, a wake-up call was way overdue for her two most cocky, arrogant jounin.

In her hand was a match that she now held up for both of them to see.

Kakashi thought his heart would stop.

Screams, shouting and pleading broke out between the two shinobi. If anyone were within hearing distance, they would have thought many men were being seriously tortured, instead of two shinobi begging for the life of their porn, and rushed to heroically save what sounded like thirty innocent people.

No one could hear them, and Sakura knew it, but did not move until the shinobi fell silent. Kakashi glared at her for disobeying his shouting orders to put the match away, but a miserable Genma stared at the pile of books as if willing them to run away and save themselves. As expected, they didn't move an inch.

When there was silence in the forest, Sakura cackled gleefully over her self-proclaimed genius idea of stacking the books in such way that she could pour oil in the middle, and then tying the jounin to trees where they would be just far enough away so that the flames couldn't hurt them. Kakashi glared at her harder until she turned to look, creating a staring match. Not breaking eye contact, the stone-cold kunoichi hopped off the pile and lit the match.

Letting out a small sigh, she broke the contest and smothered the match. For a moment they looked up gleefully, thinking she had spared them, only to have their hearts plummet when she had stopped to pour the oil to the top.

Sakura lit the next match and dropped it square into the middle of the pile.

Genma's last thought before losing consciousness was that he wondered how fire could still dance and look so beautiful when it destroyed something. Kind of like kunoichi, he thought sleepily. Beautiful and happy even when they are annihilating things. This situation came to mind.

Right before fainting, Kakashi could have sworn there was a look of sorrow and _regret_ on her face as it was bathed in the firelight.

He would later deny it and chalk it up to the fact that he wanted to see some part of Sakura that was not happy about the Burning of the Porn (as he would call it) so badly that his mind imagined it.

* * *

The heck is wrong with me?

Edit: This story has been put on an indefinite hiatus. I still love KakaSaku, but I've lost enthusiasm for this plotline and fandom in general at the moment. I may one day pick this back up (heck, it could be several years from now, even), but I cannot do it now. I just really, really don't want to for some reason. I don't know whether I dislike the idea, or the writing, or...it's simply not doing it for me. Again, sorry.

For simplicity's sake, assume this has been abandoned permanently, and then if I pick it up (I mean it when I say _years_), it will be an unexpected, pleasant surprise.

Until we meet again,

~WinterJade.


End file.
